LIKE MOST IDIOTS

"Pure unadulterated relief. You can stick your joy up your arse." I watched the Arsenal-Burnley match down the Old Bailey in Wellington. It was the only pub open at 7am on a Tuesday morning and the moment felt too important to watch on the sofa. There was six of us. Fair enough. Wellington is a small town in a small country, on the other side of the planet. I had to fly to Auckland for work the following day at 10am so watched the Bournemouth-City game at home. I can see the

I Pub Chat When people talk about whirlwind relationships, they always mean romantic relationships but I once had a whirlwind friendship with a man called Barry. Barry and I were inseparable for a summer. He was a total liability but I liked him because usually I am the liability in a friendship group and it was nice to be the sensible one. I got to sigh and say " Oh Barry " like people have always said my name. Or "Fucking Barry, what is he like." Barry turns up to our loca

I was speaking to my girlfriend (shut up) over the phone at the start of the year. She was in Lima, completing a tropical medicine...

Tell me, what are your favourite crisps? As I have given this considerable thought The sort of deep, romantic thought that poets like to...